Blessings

Blessings-Friday May 9, 2014
Emily Sturgill

Blessings
small precious gemstones,
filled with flowers of forget me nots
and overlooked,
among the overwrought dressings, of my mind.

Blessings
are the biggest obvious thing,
which stands between
me and oblivion.

My mind concocts
all the easier blooms-first.
The green buds of negativity
and the “have-nots.”
The harbingers of doom.

instead of simply searching for
the shiny sweet and happy spot.

Counting them up,
the blessings I’ve got.

It really is an easy
as 1,2, 3…
If you seek them out.

they always whisper to you,
they never scream nor shout.

but whats really important
is the notion-
simple riddle as this is:

Never take a blessing for granted
because really, it does matter
it’s all we got.

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flowers flourish despite the rain…

March Madness,
with a whim and a flurry,
Mother Nature
sings her call.

She calls out to the flowers,
to begin to bud.
She echoes out to the plants,
to begin to grow.

under her ever watchful eyes,
the dance of spring begins with a twirl,
a wave, a recollection of
warm and simple wind.

slowly in our daze of
sheer amazement
winter concaves, collapses, makes room,
for Spring to begin.

and flowers, they flourish
despite the rain,
they refuse to fight the water
instead they drink in the tears
of the Earth- they swallow her secrets
her teardrops of rain.

it makes them
the plants bloated and drunken,
as if by the most scared of wine.

The journey towards forgiveness

I do not usually post blog-style confesionals. I’m much more of a poet, than anything else. In fact in addition to my poetry online, I have been keeping multiple journals at home and handwritten. One is more private confessional journal type enteries and the other is mostly poems, ideas, and sometimes tarot readings I give myself or lists of things to do or lists of music playlists.

HERE…is mostly just where I share poems, unless I am all fired up. Today, I am all fired up and I think its vital to share because it might help others to move forward.

I am all fired up about the notion of forgiveness. In theory, I do believe it is better to forgive even if not forget or forgive ANd forget-whatever works best for you. But in practice I find this to be a slippery slope. i struggle very much on how to forgive, when to forgive and how to let go. Honestly, I hold horrible grudges. And they are horrible in truth because mostly they only serve to hurt me-myself-nobody else.

All that angry righteous high horse b.s. I desperately hold onto-a sense of who iswrong and who is right? Honestly, it does not serve me much any longer-in fact it wears me down, makes me feel guilty and mad, like an angry hornet shook lose from its nest.

so today, I was with my hubby and we were at the bookstore out of nowhere i spotted like the ideal book and he bought it for me with a couple other items. This book is called, “The forgiveness formula: how to let go of your pain and move on with Life.” It was on sale at barnes and nobles-only$6.98-hardcover-by author Kathleen Griffin. @2004.

I am only on pg 16 so far but this book is exactly what i needed to hear at this time. i am in fact blown away.I am just writing about this because forgiveness can be ajourney-a pathwy-towards feeling lighter-less burdened. And in my heart, i realize it is not an easy thing to forgive. That more folks than just myself struggle with it. Holding onto the past so tightly it only distorts your vision of the present moment and it poisons the well of your future happiness. This seems true to me.

Someday I really hope I can learn to forgive, hopefully sooner than later because all this angry i hold deep down inside-it only strangles me-making it harder to breathe making it harder to reign into my sanity. I realize i am not the only sufferer out there but by refusing to allow forgiveness its like picking a scab, bruised and bleeding-the wound will not heal. I know I will not heal either. By the way, I highly reccommend her book-so far its very good.

An altar of belief:

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An altar by belief,
stands alone in the north west corner,
of my bedroom.
it is the place onto which,
i allow my beliefs to sit.

every once in a while,
i linger there
lighting three candles,
and say my prayers,
with my heart-
not my lips.

my lips do not seem fit.
to express what my heart
longs and shouts out for;
justice, a good life, an omen
or a sign, to allow
me to practice,

the fine art of allowance and
of course self-acceptance.

magical meditations, covered in mystery.
set the stage for most of human
history.

i have an altar of belief which sits,
upon my north-west corner.
Even if my Gods and Goddesses,
are ancient fairy tales to you…

please respect my beliefs,
as I try to respect yours.
if more folks do not try;
to sway and convert the masses,

think of all the less holy wars,
that would be raging
across many a foreign land.

all it takes is a small slit opening,
into your heart,
and some peace and understanding;
for those who see the world much
differently than you do.

blessings-tidings-mote it be,
hence tied by three.

Beneath the Depths

Beneath the depths by Emily H. sturgill

written on sunday 11/10/13

Beneath the Depths-

off the deep end, the depth,

of a Dog.

a Jaded wish, golden green

emblazed,

with another:

Detroit Depression.

Staring, down the barrel of

Trust, as a Daydream.

Drawing Pictures of Picasso’s Peace-Motion.

Cover me in Oceans,

as the birds form,

my Sister’s Staircase.

Covered in sea-shells and glistening

in Sands.

She escaped Michigan,

for the Sunrise of Florida,

and the promises of Eternal

Sun-filled Days.

Here in Michigan,

I will stay, staring down,

another Detroit Daydream.

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New Facebook page for Sex in the kitchen Sink

https://www.facebook.com/sexinthekitchensink13?ref=hl

Follow me on facebook please!Picture 149 Warming up with color abstract 2 Fall 2013 Spirals of Song and other poems book cover1 Picture 161 Warming up with color abstract 1 Fall 2013 Abstract oil pastel drawing 99 cover design for words whirl 2013 copy Falling to pieces by EHCato 1999 IMAG0893 IMAG0898 IMAG0897 Art before words new front cover copy back cover art before words3 copy self portrait 05012013 Picture 94 Acrylic mixed media pumice gel painting 1996 canvasboard Spirituality, acrylic and sand on canvasboard 1996 possible coverart1 copy Athena wiccan11 IMG_20130330_093258

Trying to locate the bright side with my star trek decoder ring?

I am looking for the light

at the end of the tunnel,

I am trying to locate the bright side-

I am trying to find and then analyze,

the silver lining in the gray storm clouds which

to my everlasting annoyance hang out

beside my brow under my head…

I am trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,

the butterfly breaking loose out of her cocoon.

I am trying to not worry so ever much

that I hold onto this mantle

of doom and gloom.

 

For everything there is a price you pay,

For every stray thought or feeling or word,

you might say, there is a consequence.

 

There is always an end result to any hypothetical

hypothesis, to any purely scientific, mathematical, theoretical

equation. There is always an answer.

So when in doubt,

go bravely out into the big

crazy world, gather facts, data and then find out-

your very own answer.

 

Because in our ever-expanding, mind-blowing

universe there are several.

Answers I mean. To any one questions, at any one time,

it will blow your mind.

 

Reach as far as your fat fist will travel,

grasp every bit of pure white light imaginable,

and cling fast and hard

to both Hope and Faith.

 

Never assume you know the truth,

go out and discover the bits and pieces

of your hungry self.

 

But beyond all this;

try to locate the bright side beneath all the darkness.

Look for the light which dances among shadows,

it is a choice to pick one or the other-

which one to pay attention to-the shadows or the

pretty white gleam of happiness, pleasure, and pure joy.

 

 

The Female Roars

The Female Roars off :

my other rarely used blog: http://dirtyfilthybutterflyblues.blogspot.com/

The Female Roars-

(written for Lisa)

 

It starts with an explosion.

Fits of outrage, fur and teeth,

the Lioness Roars

in order to protect her cubs.

 

She is all complete Beauty,

in that mere moment

of raw agony and fierce loyalty.

 

She will fight to the death,

to protect her young ones.

She is a wild force of nature.

 

You do not want to be,

the one who has crossed

her.

 

She has perfected protection,

to the essentials

of sharpen teeth, claws, and

utter strength.

 

To threaten her cubs,

is foolish, and the results

could be very dangerous

if not even deadly.

 

Human Mothers are not

that much different.

When push comes to shove-

 

The Female Roars.

written for Lisa.