an iny_tRo_ duction

an iny_tRo_ duction.

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FREE E-Books to download starting tomorrow 4 poetry & artist chapbooks and 1 personal memoir!

Upcoming Free Kindle ebook Downloads*****Starts tomorrow!!
Four of my Artist & Poetry chapbooks will be free to download as Kindle ebooks:

1-“Do not cry me a River of Crocodile Tears.”(2013)
2-“In Exile from Maxwell park:poems” (2014)
3-“Butterfly rimmed eyeglasses and the trouble with Tuesdays.”(2013)
4-“Red Bones.”(2014) be free to download. These titles will be free from 12/27/14-12/31/14.To download any of these titles please visit my Amazon.com‘s Author Page:www.amazon.com/author/emilysturgill    OR

http://www.amazon.com/Emily-Sturgill/e/B00B1GC5LY

In addition, my personal memoir about living with bipolar disorder,
5-“Memoirs recalled Madness: a personal account of living with manic-depressive disorder.” (2013) will also be free to download from 12-27-14 through 12/31/14.
To download #1 go HERE: http://www.amazon.com/not-cry-River-Crocodile-Tears-ebook/dp/B00DRN85YA/ref=asap_B00B1GC5LY?ie=UTF8
To download My Memoirs on living with Bipolar Disorder/Manic Depression please go HERE:
Keep checking my blog for Kindle deals, I have more deals starting on Dec 28-Jan 21, 2015.
Happy Holidays!!! If you have never read any of my ebooks but do enjoy this blog, the poetry in the books is very similar and I also add my own original artwork as well. You may enjoy them but it’s worth a look. They will be free so you can always delete later, if you decide you hate it or its not your cup of tea. Reviews are highly welcome-both positive or negative I enjoy feedback of any kind because it allows me to become more in tune with what readers like and what they do not care for.Thank you.-Emilywpid-cam01434.jpg Snapshot_20141223_3 Snapshot_20141223_4

“Memoirs Recalled Madness: a personal account of manic-depression.”by Emily Sturgill just $3.99

“Memoirs Recalled Madness: a personal account of manic-depression.”by Emily Sturgill  is currently a kindle-countdown deal.

Right now its priced is reduced from $9.99 to just $3.99. As a countdeal deal the price will slowly increase over the next few days. So I encourage you to buy a copy asap while its still such a low price! It’s a personal memoir dealing with growing up then being diagnosed with bipolar disorder right after high school and my life ever since. The highs and lows but also the successes of a life living with a serious mental health issue.

For more info please follow this link here:

http://www.amazon.com/Memoirs-Recalled-Madness-personal-depressive-ebook/dp/B00C145EOU/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415134043&sr=1-1

The price is set to increase by $1 tomorrow.

My inner wild child

My inner child

is wild, angry and more than a bit

crazy.

She sits well with rage.

The rage I cannot tell.

The kind which feels unlawful

so I hide it well.

 

I hide it beneath

piles of dirty blankets

inside my mind.

I try to smother this rage

deep inside, with the hopes

it will not eat at me

from the inside out.

I hide my anger well-

I cover it with doubt.

 

My inner child, she’s a wild thing.

She deals with all

of my secret pain,

so that I can begin again.

 

They say certain nasty

words about angry women.

It’s as if anger is never allowed.

 

I want to be the “nice girl”.

I want to be polite.

I want to fit in

and never start any fist fights.

 

But despite it all

deep within

my inner child she is ranting and raving

eager to escape at my seams,

she swallowed a sky of my

emotions and I watch

from a safe distance

 

as she erupts

like a volcano

into my dreams.

Push/Pull

Push/Pull

by Emily Sturgill 6/24/14

Push/Pull
that is the sum
of Us.

You pull me closer
just to push me away.

Or this, you pull me closer
and I am the one
to push you away.

Or this?

Do I pull you closer,
as you push me away?

It’s all semantics
this push/ pull game
that we both play.

Nobody is perfect.
And Nobody’s marriage is perfect
either, that one for sure
is true.

Everyday, as I taste my lips
the words I say to you
are
I love you

and you mirror
back to me,
i love you too…

but this push/ pull thing?

Why do we choose
to do the things we do?

And no, I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna…

fight and argue
with you.

for one thing
you do not fight fair.
you always fight dirty.

you spin, twist & turn
my words around
like a game of monopoly

you argue only to win,
when I fight with you-
its my attempt
to communicate with you.

in my opinion there are never
winners nor losers.
i want to get down to the middle
to the riddle of our
troubles

and settle the matter.
But you are too keen
on who wins or who loses/
and you are the most sore loser
I’ve ever seen.

why can’t we just agree
to disagree???

this pull/push thing
i hate feeling this way
it sure is a shitty
way to start my day.

If your in front of a door
and you push but nothing happens,
then you must compromise
and pull the door closer

just like me.

Connections

Connections
form between
the line in my brow,
as I
take a deep breath
in and wonder why?

I try so hard
to understand how to,
how do I?

Connect all these dots
Or even try?

Connections form
between the gleam, between my
two big brown eyes…
Connections form as
neurons spark, fire-cracker style go up-

wickedly surreal
the untold story of the brain.

All these connections vary,
from person to person
yet still they remain
basically the same.

Resulting in countless connections
between the different pathways
of our mind

leading to
thought creation
and hesitation

philosophy
poetry
creativity
stories
and even Art itself.

It all begins with
a random game of
connection

and
all you must do:
is connect all of the dots
everywhere

around you.

The journey towards forgiveness

I do not usually post blog-style confesionals. I’m much more of a poet, than anything else. In fact in addition to my poetry online, I have been keeping multiple journals at home and handwritten. One is more private confessional journal type enteries and the other is mostly poems, ideas, and sometimes tarot readings I give myself or lists of things to do or lists of music playlists.

HERE…is mostly just where I share poems, unless I am all fired up. Today, I am all fired up and I think its vital to share because it might help others to move forward.

I am all fired up about the notion of forgiveness. In theory, I do believe it is better to forgive even if not forget or forgive ANd forget-whatever works best for you. But in practice I find this to be a slippery slope. i struggle very much on how to forgive, when to forgive and how to let go. Honestly, I hold horrible grudges. And they are horrible in truth because mostly they only serve to hurt me-myself-nobody else.

All that angry righteous high horse b.s. I desperately hold onto-a sense of who iswrong and who is right? Honestly, it does not serve me much any longer-in fact it wears me down, makes me feel guilty and mad, like an angry hornet shook lose from its nest.

so today, I was with my hubby and we were at the bookstore out of nowhere i spotted like the ideal book and he bought it for me with a couple other items. This book is called, “The forgiveness formula: how to let go of your pain and move on with Life.” It was on sale at barnes and nobles-only$6.98-hardcover-by author Kathleen Griffin. @2004.

I am only on pg 16 so far but this book is exactly what i needed to hear at this time. i am in fact blown away.I am just writing about this because forgiveness can be ajourney-a pathwy-towards feeling lighter-less burdened. And in my heart, i realize it is not an easy thing to forgive. That more folks than just myself struggle with it. Holding onto the past so tightly it only distorts your vision of the present moment and it poisons the well of your future happiness. This seems true to me.

Someday I really hope I can learn to forgive, hopefully sooner than later because all this angry i hold deep down inside-it only strangles me-making it harder to breathe making it harder to reign into my sanity. I realize i am not the only sufferer out there but by refusing to allow forgiveness its like picking a scab, bruised and bleeding-the wound will not heal. I know I will not heal either. By the way, I highly reccommend her book-so far its very good.

Book review

http://www.amazon.com/Brief-Thriving-Individuals-Mental-Illness/dp/1304490920/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1392302957&sr=1-1&keywords=A+brief+guide+to+thriving+for+individuals+with+Mental+illness+and+their+loved+ones

In this book, Dr. Abbott addresses several basic issues and concerns, which would be very useful to anyone diagnosed recently with mental illness, or that person’s friends and family.She presents a model of Recovery in five stages. Dr. Abbott writes that she adopted-(invented perhaps?)-this model, after studying similar models such as the well known 5 stages of Grief/ Loss or certain recovery from addiction models.However she contrasts her model by pointing out while other models are static, hers is not. She feels her model is more fluid-to me her model almost seems circular-although we both agree that a person in any process form of recovery from mental illness may repeat these stages or regress or progress at different stages.

As she points out many with mental illnesses may go in and out of these stages at any given time. Here are her five stages: 1. Psychological Changes 2. Self-Awareness of those changes 3.Receiving help.4. Acceptance of ones own mental illness. 5.Reaching out to others. She does explain not everyone will complete this entire process outlined. The last step is the hardest-to deal with stigma and to reach out to others in need-still suffering-while this is noble-not everyone is capable of this or even wishes to try this.(the author does acknowledge this fact.) Also in this book she recounts her own story of mental illness. I do wish that this section was longer and that she would have expanded. But this is a brief guidebook, I do understand why her focus is not on her personal experiences so much. She centers on the issues faced by those with mental illness and how to help.

This is an useful resource no matter what stage of recovery you are in. This book is ideal because it emphasizes two things; You are not alone and there are a multitude of ways you can help yourself.
One last thing I would like to add, is what the Author says about Hope: “The self-fulfilling
prophecy studied by psychologists, includes the idea that what we continue to believe about ourselves or our future will Eventually come to be. It’s essential to maintain a positive outlook about yourself and your future.”(2013, Abbott.L, p.26)

Re-release of Memoirs: New 4th Edition Now Available

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C145EOU

Above is the kindle link to my 4th E
dition of “Memoirs recalled Madness: a personal account of living with manic depressive illness.”by Emily Sturgill. 2014.

After reading a book written by a friend, I decided to re-read my Memoirs and make more revisions. If you already have a previous copy on kindle you may update it by going to Amazon.com/account/manage my kindle. If you do not have a copy, I have some good news-this ebook will be on Free promotional download starting this Weds 2/12/14-Sunday 2/16/14. You can use the link above to download a free copy starting on Weds.

If you prefer a paperback copy: please visit Createspace at: https://www.createspace.com/4220732. Amazon now has a matchbook deal as well where if you buy a printed paperback copy you can buy the kindle copy at a reduced rate. Currently my paperback is 8.5 x 11 white pages, some colored images, artwork and personal photos and roughly 90 pages long. It costs $19.99 but through the matchbook program a kindle copy will only run $2.99-normally the kindle version  is $9.99.

But as I said before this 4th edition will be FREE to download, Weds-Saturday of this week. The revisions I made concerned prior overlooked typo, grammar and spelling errors. Much of the content remained the same-I just really wanted it to flow more evenly for the reader. This style of confessional writing is not my forte’ -I do consider myself more of a Poet than a traditional Author. That being said, if you have ever been curious about mental illness or have friends or family with mental illness-my story does give a glimpse inside a bipolar mind. For more info please visit my links above and there were also 4 reviews of past versions. The most objective review came from Michel Short. She reviewed based on content and plot-rather than to critically examining any grammar errors. Thank you so much Michel. Thank you also to Cy Johnson for some early editing contributions and Thank you to Dr. Leesa Abbott for inspiring me to re-evaluate my own Memoirs. Leesa has written a book called ” A brief Guide to Thriving for Individuals with mental illness and their loved Ones.” by Dr. Leesa Abbott, 2013. I am hoping to publish a review of her work sometime in the next week.

new coverart memoirs recalled Madness no

Still time to RSVP Artist talk & Art Therapy Workshop

Art Therapy Flyer August 1 2013  On August 1,2013 which is a Thursday evening I will be hosting an Artist Talk on Mental Health and Recovery through Art-making. I will also do a short demo of 2 different watercolor techniques. Then guests will be invited to create their own watercolor artworks. Tickets are only $20 per person and include all supplies. They ask persons to please register in advance. The deadline is tomorrow night.

You can register by going to the studio’s website here: http://www.theartexperience.org/2013_Summer_ScheduleofClasses.html

There is still plenty of room available. Please feel free to leave comments if you would like to attend and need more info. This will be in Pontiac Mi. They will also have some of my chap-books for sale. If you buy one, I will sign it for you at no charge-only if you want though! 🙂