Nervous kinetic Energy

Nervous Kinetic Enegry,

spirals out of the life of me.

Once had nerves of steel,

but now long gone-

so damn nervous, tell me this time-

what did I do or say wrong?

 

A Lady called me today.

Straight out of the big blue.

A person-a somebody-I didn’t knew.

She was asking about a job application I made-

nearly seven weeks ago…

 

She was pop-quizzing me,

as if I would recall the exact details

of the job or company.

 

I have been applying to so many…

its easy to lose track

its easy to lose track fast.

 

She almost scheduled the interview with me,

but something made her pause to say,

can i give you a call back???

 

I am left holding the bag,

wondering if I blew the whole thing already,

or if she will in fact call back,

 

Gosh, I hope so…I am sitting on pins and needles.

Way too much kinetic energy-

with no-place, to go.

 

I just know, that by now,

its high time, that I finally get a job.

I really need a job Now, not yesterday

nor tomorrow, but right away

in the present moment,

in the blink of an eye

and the wink of my tongue.

 

I need me some gluing

so I do not become

completely unraveled-

completely undone.

 

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fish-bowl

when i was very young, perhaps 5 years old,
i made a fish-bowl out of tissue paper and black construction
papers. i do not know why but at the time,
it seemed to be my most valuable and prized
possession.Anyways this kindergarten masterpiece, i decided to entrust to my grandmother, my mother’s mother. She had fish tanks herself of guppies and things.I do not recalled if there were joy and pride in her eyes-but i do know they shone bright. i will always remember from that moment forward somethng inside me changed for the better. i was no longer just a small child or little girl, i was an ”artist” too.All because of the way she accepted my gift, my treasure,she showed respect and awe. i blushed and felt warm all over, like i did a “good”or “right” thing.i will never forget that precious moment, i wish somebody had saved that picture for me, but i was not from that sort of family-childrens drawings were not taken seriously-except of course for my grandmother, she was a rare gem.