All in a name

My name is She who,
walks with animals

and talks like a hyena laughing-
non stop fast paced flutter.

My other name is Girl Trapped beneath mirror.
She seems backwards and semi-self-conscious
this shadow like a plus size diva.

My secret name is spoken best in
murmurs and whispers
as I make it up as I go along,

flying by the seat of my pants.

My last name is merely Poet.
A common and often forgotten word,
once it carried so much weight
but now its barely to be heard…
Poet,Poet,Poet

She who walks with animals, and Girl Trapped beneath mirror
are both one and the same, then there lies a secret name always changing and evolving never to remind the same
my last name is common enough, Poet. There that is everything about me you will ever need to know,
oh that plus the small imperfect fact that sometimes , some days, I am nearly insane.

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New Facebook page for Sex in the kitchen Sink

https://www.facebook.com/sexinthekitchensink13?ref=hl

Follow me on facebook please!Picture 149 Warming up with color abstract 2 Fall 2013 Spirals of Song and other poems book cover1 Picture 161 Warming up with color abstract 1 Fall 2013 Abstract oil pastel drawing 99 cover design for words whirl 2013 copy Falling to pieces by EHCato 1999 IMAG0893 IMAG0898 IMAG0897 Art before words new front cover copy back cover art before words3 copy self portrait 05012013 Picture 94 Acrylic mixed media pumice gel painting 1996 canvasboard Spirituality, acrylic and sand on canvasboard 1996 possible coverart1 copy Athena wiccan11 IMG_20130330_093258

Simplicity part 2-dedicated to my friend Erin D.

Picture 161Picture 158Picture 160

Simplicity

2 parts bitter-sweet vinegar

2 parts harmony

one dash of Hope

one sprinkling of Faith,

one Tablespoon full of miracles.

1/2 stick of helplessness melted but not burnt brown.

1/4 cup memories

16 oz of pure, unstrained Love

1 graham pie crust of sorrows

1 can of heavy-whipping cream

2 tbs allspice, 2 tbs cloves, 4 tbs fresh honesty

one classic ceasar salad of velvet covered sadness

one case of dark irish beer…

blend with one bag of Catholic Guilt,

add two whole egg-yolks

add 7 hail-marys and one quart of confessions.

Blend with a twist of hard scotch whiskey, empathy as a orange peel, a cherry

with-out its stem, some liquid courage, one King James version of

The Holy Bible.

Some false idols/some fake friends/those who will swear by you/

yet they disappear in the end?

I trust nobody who says to me, that they will “pray for me,”

I wish i were not a bitch like that, but i totally am-such a bitch.

I am not going to offend them by declining their pray offers-

but i am not going to depend on them for this junk.

I usually merely responded with Thank you-or thank you very much-whatever.

Prayers are both sweet and nice-

if they are done right.

But true friends do more than have private jesus jams/

talks on your behalf.

True friends know when you are sad, And sense when you need to have a small

phone-call chat. true friends listen and practice the,

Fine Art of Allowance-

meaning they allow you to be sad.

They do not try to cram you into a shoebox

with too much duct tape,

and scrawl the word “Happy”

onto your head-in order to make themselves feel better.

Real friends want you to feel better,

but when you get around to it.

Real friends allow you,

to simply FEEL.

They allow you to be-

They allow you to grieve and to suffer.

They realize there is no universal time clock on

one feeling verses another.

I wrote this out for a friend of mine.

Her mane is Erin-we kinda grew up together.

Anyways, her mother just recently passed away due to Cancer,

this past march on st.patricks day.

Erin and her twin Bridget are both my friends.

I did not realize how huge their family is until very recently,

Anyways yesterday, Erin was having a bad day,

and she shared with her fb friends she really missed her mother.

I was completely floored with all the useless facebook comment messages

she was getting. There were just so fake to me.

So i commented myself-and i was not trying to impress facebook-or Erin or anybody else.

I just wished to say something that could comfort Erin and be

totally completely “real” and “honest” with her.

I was just being me, I was just being emily.

She wrote me later, in a private facebook message, Thank you so much , you knew just how I was feeling and how much my messages helped her.

That really made my evening last night.

It is a good feeling to be a good friend to somebody you forever care for,

cherish and sisterly love.

True friendships among women are not always,

easy to find or to maintain.

But once I’ve formed a friendship bond-

with another female- I keep those friends

out and treasure them immensely.

It really takes a whole pile of damages for me,

to no longer consider a woman my friend.

Once a friend, always a friend, at least that is where

my loyalties take me. So many beautiful feminine friends:

Each is like a precious gem or a secret treasure to me.

I LOVE my friends-all of them.

even the cob-webbed covered ancient ones,

those are kind of crunchy

but i just love them all the more-for it!!!!

The Stranger in my Mirror.

Picture 149      Sometimes Shocking to see,

the Stranger in my Mirror, who looks like Me. I recall younger days, thinner versions,

Once upon a time, I was most likely,

just as cocky as Miley-

just not as famous.

What do you do? Once you lose that smooth small stomach,

the perky C bra breasts, the stride in your step, the seduction upon your hips,

the fullness of your lips, when the age of youth disappears,

and you become a M’mam instead of a Miss?

When you look into the mirror, and a stranger sits?

Glaring back at you, dimly-reminding you faintly,

that beauty lies in the beholder-instead of the girth of your thighs.

I am blessed to look many years younger-than I really am.

It’s a trick of my Mothers gene pool.

Wrinkles and gray hair do not scare me-no way-anyway.

I really do not mind.

But sometimes, I look at the Stranger in my Mirror-

and can’t help but think,

I am rocking middle age, despite my Venus Size.

I can still feel beautiful even when there is,

a media war, a rampage of BMI’s, a negativity upon

the average woman who is judged to be

“Plus-sized.” I can still feel my beauty, when my husband

looks at me that way, he once did all those years ago,

into the land of yesterday.

 

The Female Roars

The Female Roars off :

my other rarely used blog: http://dirtyfilthybutterflyblues.blogspot.com/

The Female Roars-

(written for Lisa)

 

It starts with an explosion.

Fits of outrage, fur and teeth,

the Lioness Roars

in order to protect her cubs.

 

She is all complete Beauty,

in that mere moment

of raw agony and fierce loyalty.

 

She will fight to the death,

to protect her young ones.

She is a wild force of nature.

 

You do not want to be,

the one who has crossed

her.

 

She has perfected protection,

to the essentials

of sharpen teeth, claws, and

utter strength.

 

To threaten her cubs,

is foolish, and the results

could be very dangerous

if not even deadly.

 

Human Mothers are not

that much different.

When push comes to shove-

 

The Female Roars.

written for Lisa.

Something broken

She cannot put a finger

on why, but there is something there

deep inside

broken and rusted

despite being encased in honey

and a touch of lovely

love.

She knows that the two parts must connect

come together and securely fit

in a mechanical motion

to produce an organic product

1/2 of her and 1/2 of him

that’s all the recipe calls for

and yet she cannot put her finger on it.

The two come as one well-maintained machine,

but nothing is ever produced or created.

She does not know why,

simply feels the bareness

on the inside

longing to know why she cannot fix

the broken pieces deep inside

and she just feels

a touch of something kinda, something that is, something where the;

sadness grows.

 

New and upcoming free kindle promo days:

Starting today June 15, 2013, my very first collection of poetry and Artwork is free to download off of Amazon.com’s kindle. It is called,”Sex in the kitchen sink: Poetry and Art.” The promo will last 5 days from today 6/15/13-6/19/13.cropped-cover-art-1-copy1.jpg

Here is a direct link to download a copy: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-kitchen-sink-poetry-ebook/dp/B00AY8B0ES/ref=sr_1_5_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371349813&sr=1-5

 

June 22-26th, On the brink: Vol One will have a free download promo on kindle.
June 26-27 Art before words will have a brief 48 hour promo.
June 28-July 2 On the Brink : vol 2 will have a free kindle download promotion.
July 4-July 8 Mythology seen through metaphor: word salad 1.5 will be on promo.
July 13-July 17 Dreamcatcher and other poems, will have a free promo period on kindle.
August 16-August 20th Butterfly Rimmed eyeglasses and the trouble with Tuesdays will be also availoable to download for free.
August 25-August 29, 2013 There will be a free kindle promotion of the poetry and art chapbook called, “Lavender Surprise.”

To take advantage of all or any of these free promo days please visit my Authors page at amazon.com – that link is : http://www.amazon.com/author/emilysturgill.

Also it would mean the world to me if you do download something, even if its free, would you consider leaving a review on amazon.com for me? Reviews help me piece together,
areas in which i need improvement or areas that i excel at. Reviews also help me in general during the non-promotional periods with other potential readers or buyers of my work.

Just simply giving your opinion is easy enough to do. And even if itsa negative review, there is something i can learn from. If it is a positive review, even better!!! Just be honest and speak your mind, whatever you think, it would help me a great deal!!! I am still very new to self-publishing. And even new to blogging-i only started this blog in nov 2012.

It was a nice suprise when other writers started subscribing to my blog! I was thrilled to even have 20 followers-now i have lost count-but quite a few. My readers in what inspired me to publish my first artist and poetry chapbook, ” Sex in the kitchen Sink: poems and artwork .”by Emily H. Sturgill. If you have not read it, get a free copy today!!cover art 1 copyAbstract watercolor 2013 Rantings 1 bookcover front cover word salad 2013 dreamcatcher and other poems coverDreamcatcher_and_oth_Cover_for_Kindle BookCover Rantings and Ravings paperbook vol2 image024 Lavender Surprise cover13 cover for art art art before words noback cover art before words3 copy Picture 94 new hairsyle may 1 2013 by Leah

Haunted

In my dreams,

is where it seems,

I am most vulnerable

to your ghostly astral projections.

They torment me

into self-reflection.

Whatever do you want?

Now, or Ever?

We were always just friends,

although of the rare kindred spirit kind.

We still talk over the internet.

It makes me feel guilty-

although we have done nothing wrong,

and well i can say I will always

love______.

I will never write you,

another love song.

We are not romantic, not now, nor ever.

but something is there,

if i cared to probe deeper.

and i do not,

neither do you,

at least you claim not to,

have any strange attraction

to little ole me.

We are barely friends, even on good days.

I come to you anyways the ingenue,

always looking to you,

to be sitting on a mountain,

with its tell-tale peak

shoved up your….

never mind.

But yes, I hammer you with

questions then disrespect

all your advice.

I’m sure part of you

hates me.

And, yes It’s always been this way,

between us. Me following you around,

as if you are some sort

of guru.

a magical beast,

a mythological creature,

yet as always, you are

and remain,

just a close friend.

I must admit I am

hoping you are not moving home,

here to Michigan,

it would really creep me out.

This state is not big enough for both of our egos.

I’ve done the math.

I’ve figured it all out.

I’m happy here,

and you would turn it all inside out,

and upside down.

I really do not want to deal-

with whatever i feel,

towards you at all.

Hopefully nothing will come

of any of it.

And you will stop appearing

in my dreams-

go guest star in someone

else’s subconscious

for a change.

( I will never write you another love song, is a reference to a song by Z.Z.Ward, called “Last love Song.”

Got my hair-re-did. Yay!

Picture 94Before shot, to the left. Lucky for me, I have a niece who went to Paul Mitchel beauty school. She takes care of my mop. I give her small pieces of art in return, since I am not working, as of yet. Book sales are also very slow.I’m still looking for a job in my field, but it has yet to manifest.

Picture 105 Picture 107 Picture 108new hairsyle may 1 2013 by Leah self portrait 05012013 Watercolor Adobe Self portrait new hair may 1 2013