the Monster of me-
12/27/14
by Emily Sturgill
the Monster of me-
you cannot see
from the outside, but,
on the inside
there is a Monster of me.
deep inside a divided mind-
there is a Monster of me
It’s ugly, and messy,
It’s broken, jagged, sharpen edges
with rotted teeth
with the violet violence of despair.
Deep down inside me,
lies horrible truths, like Anger, Depression, Sadness and Fear.
it eats away at me from the inside out.
leaving nothing but
this empty shell
of a young looking pretty
40 something, crazy cat-lady,
bag lady, bag lady, i’ve been there before.
the Monster of me
is what you cannot see.
I appear normal enough
but i am raw to the touch.
and the tears just flow
like a faucet with way too much
draino.
I can appear to be
almost anything. Confident, witty or artsy-
or quiet and shy,
but deep down inside
an unraveling mind,
lies the Truth
I am mentally ill.
I am dangerous
I am to be feared
and never understood.
I am just another anonymous Statistic
I am just another runaway lunatic
I am just another victim
of my own unhinged mind.
I live with bipolar disorder
and that feels like a Crime.
the Monster of me
i keep her chained to the bed
on a dirty mattress
She’s the darkest deepest secret
the Horror in my head.
