the back slide

June 27 2022

Sliding backwards into

repressed emotions

i stumble and fall.

Sliding backwards into mania

but forwards into depression

am i losing my mind again?

these small things

all add up

loss of sleep, loss of hunger

feeling a sense of something not right

do you love me enough

when i am not myself

but a manic person

fighting her personal demons?

can we fight this mental illness

together

one foot in front of the other?

ill take two steps backwards

for every step together

changes me for

the better.

Summer blues

June 24 2022

my best girl friend

disappears in the summertime.

she slowly sinks into pits of despair.

depression grabs hold

and i dont see her that often

i unerstand the avoidances

i just really miss my friend.

She is my best friend

and I have no one else ever/

please get better.

call me soon ot just come over?

written for karen timek

lost

June 22 2022

i look for you

in every song i listen too.

i look for you

in every crystal

i gaze upon

i look for you

everytime my phone rings.

i look for you

among the shadows

i look for you

whenever i look into

a mirror

but your gone

and I am lost here

without you.

its over now

June 21 2022

Summer Solstice

the longest day

beautiful and bolden

the flowers stood tall.

the animals frolic

and dance as they roll in the grass.

Looking for some peacefullness.

idiot me

just another mid summers day.

celebrate among the grass and leaves

celebrate the beckoning fullness of flowers

bursting into bloom

a single red rose.

Broken Brain

June 20,2022

My broken brain

split apart

into manic depression.

One comes faster after the other

but i cannot tell which one.

Medicine calms my storms.

without it i would surely die.

this enemy wears my own

face in my mirror.

the muse is usually manic

where the crying fool

usually masks my depression.

Stablity is too far gone

beyond my grasp

one foot into the future

one foot rooted into the past

i cannot walk yet

but i can laugh and dream about walking

later on.

love

June 19, 2022

love

is dark shores

broken by the stars scape.

love is the sound

of your voice

and your laughter.

love is butterfiles

in my stomach

love is all nervous yet full of grace.

love asks for nothing

but has so much more

to give in return.

love is the picture i keep

of you on my cellphone.

old worn

but handsome

as hell.

love is my memories

of You.