A parting of the ways & minds…

An apology poem-

dedicated to an old friend…10690209_10202380310584146_6677950030328337425_n

There are some people

who quite long ago

and quite honestly

stole a chunk, a piece, an inch

of my beating red heart

than slowly they backed up

backed away

and chose to depart

from all of my insanity

from a life filled

to the brim

of constant chaos-

especially when-

I often only contacted them

when my world was falling to pieces

the times when i grabbed Hope’s

neck and choked her to the floor.

The times when i was frantic.

The times when i was less than

one hot mess-when I was literary manic,

less than

my very best.

I’m stronger now.

I am able to balance my moods out.

I am able to be more than

a one sided friend

whose hardships never seem to end.

I am able to be, more like myself,

more in control

and all of my desperate despair

I have shed its skin

done to the bone

and I’ve embraced the snake

I’ve let the light back in

I’ve become less infatuated with Drama.

I feel finally able to become,

a much better friend.

But only if your willing

to forgive me?

And allow me back into your life

as a friend and stop ignoring

all of my better qualities

to insist I am

like the Oceans waves

with tides that ebb and flow

yet never change nor stop

that I am perhaps a seed

that knows not

how to flower

how to grow

you only saw the turmoil.

but that was my own fault.

I never showed you the rest.

That even despite the Oceans

turbulent troubled waves

the Moon still gazes

quietly and tenderly on.

The world is not composed

entirely of Drama.

And not not even me.

I am not constantly in a state

of inner turmoil.

But that is what you saw,

because that was the only time

I reach out for you-

to catch me/

stop me

/as i fall.

if i could only talk with you

then you’d realize, despite it all

after everything is said and done

I could find it deep inside

to try to accept and forgive you too.

That is what friendship is all about

the push the pull not the scream nor shout

the give and the take

that is what is merry make.

sometimes i feel as though i’ve lost you

4ever that our friendship was simply

way too fragile

at the seams it tore

it breaks

apart

like pieces of a twisted broken

heart, its hard to say goodbye

knowing you never

really tried..

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