My Adventures into Endometriosis Stage IV land…

Endometriosis is a chronic pain illness that affect 1 in 10 women worldwide.

Basically Endometriosis has no known proven cause and no proven cures. One theory about how endometriosis develops is that it develops while the woman is a fetus in utero. Then there are other theories-one I believe is the Migration theory because it makes the most sense to me and my hubby both. Basically this is a hypothesis that endo starts in the endometrial lining of a woman’s uterus-now the cause remains unknown but the theory suggests that somehow those cells in the body-endometrial lining cells are able to migrate out of a wombs uterus/womb. They then implant in places like the bowels, the ovaries, the sciatic nerves, the back and the legs and of course the pelvis.

My journey began in 2006, when i was diagnosed with an ovarian cysts. Most and many of the obgyns I went too, only wanted to monitor it to see if it would go away? Finally in 2009, a new doctor wanted to try to remove it using laparoscopic surgery.This dr was older and experienced but it just happened she was not experienced with this illness. She was actually a plastic surgeon obgyn. She helped women after they had babies have some strange surgery to make their vaginias appear as if they never had babies before? So she was an expert in that.

After she operated on me she said she could not remove the cyst only drain it and explained it was a chocolate cyst and that meant i had a condition called endometriosis. She sent me to a different surgeon who was an expert in infertility. That led to another operation called a pelviscopy-to see if my fallopian tube worked?  Sure enough one tube was blocked but we were somewhat shocked to discover the other one worked. The other surprise was all of my female organs were literally ‘stuck together” due to my disease.That last surgery was in 2010. Since then I tried many different obgyns and other methods to control my pain or increase fertility. Sadly I did get pregnant in 2011 only to miscarry within six weeks of conception.

I have not see a OBGYN since 2012. My hubby finally pleaded for me to go to one at least for a female check up-pap,breast and pelvic exam.I am debating whether another surgery would help me or not.

In the meantime though I compiled all the endometriosis poetry off my blog last month and wrote a poetry chapbook.

Currently it is FREE to download:

to get a free copy follow the link below, but i must warn you it contains some profanity, and some vividly described imagery:

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-make-bleed-Confessions-Uterus-ebook/dp/B00VOIHPO6/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

ALSO THE PAPERBACK VERSION IS AVAILABLE AS A FREE GOODREADS RAFFLE GIVEAWAY:

TO WIN A FREE SIGNED COPY ENTER HERE:

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/135617-don-t-watch-me-bleed-confessions-of-a-uterus-in-pain-poetry

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Endometriosis please stop! Your killing me….

Here is a link that describes this invisible, random and rare illness I have. I have stage 4 the most severe.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abby-norman/this-is-what-endometriosi_b_5704273.html

Words cannot express:

Words cannot express

Words can tear me down

or

Words can lift me up

but words can never express-all this pain i feel.

this pain is REAL.

this pain is kinda, sorta, A BIG DEAL.

Words cannot express

the intensity

the depths

of my

chronic pain.

and i feel

as though i am losing

my mind.

I found a doctor

who will prescribe

a new pain medication.

but we cannot get it filled

until after May 19th

my next menes is due on May 17th

it’s going to suck

but somehow

i will make do

somehow i

will pull through.

in the meantime-

all i ask,

is

please

Endometriosis,

please stop

this pain

is

killing

me,

Pain of plenty

The pain of plenty-

Awoken at 3:30 Am

pain washes over me

i ride it like waves

as a surfer surfs the shore

i ride it until

it don’t hurt no more.

The pain of plenty-

living with a chronic

pain condition

is frightening.

Until it becomes obvious-

most other persons

remain oblivious….

as i try

to just suck it up

like a little

piece of doom and misery-

drunk up with a straw.

And it’s the last,

straw i mean

the one that broke the camels…NO WAIT-

the straw that broke MY OWN back.

and sometimes i do not

handle it very well.

sometimes i do not

handle it well

at all.

instead I just smile

like a cheshire cat

and smoke my nicotine

in cigarettes, instead of a pipe.

I just smile and picture

the innocent people without

my disease, as if

I could whisper it into their ear

and then they could

twist, convulse contort and cry

for a while.

Just imagine all the haters

and the ones who do not believe-

just imagine them twisting into the wind

like a kite and sailing down

into my bloody landscape

my real estate

that’s constantly

up for sale-

somewhere in Hell.