A connection

A connection- 9/16/19

To love someone
relentlessly
with a wild heart
takes much courage.

To love someone
recklessly,
with honesty
and grace
this is devotion.

To love someone
as the days
turn to months,
then to years
this is loyalty.

But to have that Love
love you back
equally through sorrow
and through joy

This is a blessing,
a treasure
something so powerful,
This is connection.

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Saying goodbyes…

Saying goodbyes….. 9/7/19

Everytime I see you
it feels like the last
goodbye.

I’m not sure how much
time is left
time is such a thief

and you are very ill.

It is very good to see you
but I wish that time
stood still.

I lost others sometimes faster
sometimes slower
time is such a thief
time is a racehorse
it passes by with so much
speed.

As I try to make sense
of this awful cancerous
ending I dream of new beginnings
yet in my heart I know

Everytime I see you,
it feels like the last
goodbye.

I don’t know what.

I don’t know what. 7/28/19

I don’t know what

I’m trying to say

is it a confession

or a poem

or an unraveling of words?

I just don’t know.

I write as long

as my heart speaks

I write to empty

this foolish mind.

I write to fill a void

in this bathtub of my soul

so much just water

with nothing left to fill.

Poetry is my shadow

She follows me around

whispers her sweetest nothings,

then she slams me to the ground.

I don’t know why.

I don’t know if I am confessing

to the everything I’ve done

or simply writing poetry

the lost songs

never song.

Free Kindle Promotion

Starting tomorrow Saturday July 27 2019 my newest Artist and Poetry chapbook will be available as a Free download. This free promotion is only available from July 27- Weds July 31 2019.

Here is a link to download this ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07V3PF3NY
As always I welcome feedback and reviews. You can leave feedback on my Amazon.com’s Author page. http://www.amazon.com/Emily-Sturgill/e/B00B1GC5LY
As well as check out some of my other books.

“Painfully Sane: Poetry and Artwork.” by Emily Sturgill, 2019 is my 23rd book.
You can also follow my work on my blog. http://www.sexinthekitchensink.wordpress.com.

I hope some of you decide to download this new book and leave your thoughts on it. I look forward to your feedback. Thank you, Emily Sturgill.

Dirty hands

Dirty Hands- March 1st 2019

Spirals of songs

ringing into my mp3 ears

songstruck grabbing at bits and pieces

lyrics licking the palms

of dirty hands.

the gift of singular melody

ringing into my mp3 ears

grabbing at puzzles reaching for words

hearing everything like the first time

lyrics licking the palms

of dirty hands.

sooner than later

dancing will lead to poetry

then it will lead to twisting

and bending into art supplies

lingering music towards motion

sketchbooks opening without pause

these lyrics licking the palms

will lead to drawing

oil pastels or pencils or charcoal

covering these dirty hands.

Broken

Broken- by Emily H. Sturgill

Broken Brain

Bipolar disorder broke my brain in two poles.

With my medications I walk a tightrope between these poles

depression and mania…..I try daily to slip into the inbetweenness of these two things.

medicine helps but it does not cure. It only helps to contain a balance of semi-stability.

So yes I”ve got a broken brain.

Also I’ve got a broken Uterus. I have Endometriosis Stage 4. A fancy way of brokeness…

I hurt a lot of the time. It’s the worst whenever I am bleeding. Crumpled into layers of pain cramping aching stabbing screaming agony of pain. I’m hurting today in fact. Despite my period not due for two more days my broken uterus spits brownish blood and I know that means to hell with the calendars my period’s starting early. Up until 2015 I was taking opiods for the pain. Then I went through the process of applying for a medical marijuana card. I got off opiods. Now instead of pain daily from my endometriosis I’ve only got pain during my periods and during ovulation…..

A broken Uterus. A history of Infertility. Two pregnancies=Two miscarriages.

It’s a fancy form of brokeness. It’s a double whammy. A broken brain. A broken Uterus.

But deep down inside beneath all of the broken things is my poetry is my stories is my spirit and my soul-even beneath all of that is my heart which is strong unflinching warm and consistently unbroken. It beats on and on-unbroken. And beneath this broken brain and broken uterus is an unbroken girl grasping at straws and pulling like weeds from the ground fistfulls of words which fall to my feet into puddles of poetry.

The Table top Poem

The Table top poem by Emily Sturgill

2/26/2011

A woman filled with the mourning of

the loss of her husband

put his hunting jacket on the table.

She also placed his fishing gear, hooks and tackle on the table.

She put her memories of him into their children and grandchildren.

The stories he would tell She put the words into her dry mouth telling

them to all who would listen especially on the holidays.

After 40 years of marriage a stranger murdered her husband.

She had never met this stranger before but he was introduced to the couple

three years before her husband’s death as Stomach Cancer.

Unfortunately due to her grief the woman has to be reminded of the happy times She had with her husband by her children and friends. The couple with one half missing now have a great grandchild.

She changes into her nightgown putting her heart on her sleeve and goes to bed into a dreamless sleep.

Written for Gary and Deborah Sturgill in 2011. Gary passed in April 2006.