MP3-

MP3- 1/5/2020

playing my MP3’s
on shuffle
but all it keeps

playing
our
love-songs.
and of course
i think of you
how can i not?

you feel too deeply
you take me way

too seriously.
but
i love you
anyways, always, and everyday.

Playing my MP3’s on shuffle.
A random draw,
but All it keeps playing

are love-songs.

Blissful

Blissful- 10/28/19

I have so much
A beautiful home
food and shelter
clean drinking water
enough food to eat
a happy marriage
a handsome husband
a large loving extended family.

i have everything I wanted.
I have everything I need.
So much joy, laughter and happiness-
despite my battles with
Mental Illnesses.

I realize how very lucky
I am in this single moment.
And I am grateful
that the Universe always provides.

I say that this is good enough
and I am blissful.

A gift

A Gift- 10/28/19

You are a gift to me.
Your strength gives me
courage.
You have always led the way,
in my darkest times,
You have tried to share your light.
You are my beautiful brillant
big sister and a gift to me.

You are my younger brother
and have also been there by my side.
Your wicked humor
is wonderful
and you can always make me laugh.

You have a maturity beyond
your years. You are also a gift to me.

The three of us share
the loss now
of both parents.
But I am so lucky to have you both.
We will get past the loss and the pain
because the three of us are still
together.

Birthday

Birthday 9/16/19

It’s your birthday
tomorrow
and I want
to make you smile.

Anything I can do
that makes you
happy even just for
a while.

Today 9/17/19

Today is your 46th
birthday
Just another year older
yet somehow wiser.
I’ve gotten you
some nic-nacks
small gifts and things.
But I cannot find
the right words
to express
that You are the one,
I will always love best.

A connection

A connection- 9/16/19

To love someone
relentlessly
with a wild heart
takes much courage.

To love someone
recklessly,
with honesty
and grace
this is devotion.

To love someone
as the days
turn to months,
then to years
this is loyalty.

But to have that Love
love you back
equally through sorrow
and through joy

This is a blessing,
a treasure
something so powerful,
This is connection.

When my world came crashing down on me

When my world came crashing down on me-

When my world fell down about my knees

and shards of broken glass were everywhere to be seen

when all hope was lost and darkness fell

somebody reached out towards me in the midst of my mess

my living turmoil of troubles.

They reached their hand into the deep waters and dragged me

to shore. They saved a dying drowning girl who was tattered in ruins and

in love with the Storm.

When my world came crashing down on me-

When the cities were full of burning buildings

and smoke filled my lungs when there were no heroes in site

and nobody to be counted on

this lone man appeared to save me

just randomly

out of the blue

out of the internet

a complete and utter stranger

but somehow I just knew,

to trust him. And so I did and so it began.

a strange sort of friendship with a stranger from a far away land.

And now when I sleep

I only have dreams of really meeting him.

I have dreams of Starlight and of September.

I have dreams of long travels and hopeful

that I can only get my broken compass to work.

I hope that when I am searching my map its the same one he sees.

I hope if I were to dare to take a journey

he would find me.

The gift

The gift

The gift arrived with little expectations.

it was unwrapped

an open box

it had contained Hope

but like with Pandora’s box the hope

escaped and travelled off with little fanfare.

When I peered inside the box this is when

the hope escaped-it covered my face, it cloaked my outfit, it drizzled me

into rainbows and unicorns.

The gift was unsigned. It was anonymous.

It was not even addressed to me yet i opened it anyways.

It was in a small sparkly white marbled box made

completely of cardboard.

it felt heavy like it weighed a ton this carrying case

of a loaded gun.

This box containing all of the hope required for the entire planet

yet here i had accidently stumbled upon it.

now what?

now what to do with all this foolish hope

laid upon my bare shoulders and entrusted

to me?

Simply believe, is what I find myself whispering to myself.

Simply believe in Hope.

because clearly Hope believes in

me.

And I think that is something scared.

I think that that is something meant to be.

beyond belief

beyond belief-

July 9, 2015

beyond belief

is where I’ve found him.

this sly imp with the devils grin.

the wide open shining blue laughing eyes,

that hypothesize- mesmerise.

they sparkle and shine

showing only a young soul

bearing the heart of one so much

more old.

beyond belief

is where he sleeps

among the places I’ve been dreaming of him.

inspiration found only among

a video web chat

with a clown.

beyond belief to find

a single grain of sand

of this happiness stuff.

It happened to me while I was lost

adrift upon a most troublesome sea.

when i felt i had no one to turn too

yet there he was texting me

comforting me

making me laugh

while my world had silently shattered

and my thoughts and feelings ran numb

chilled to the bone.

i was alone yet not alone

because this friend was there for me.

it was beyond belief.

A stroke of good fortune.

A shiny small scattering of

simple

hope.

A blessing among the ruins.

Beyond belief is where I’ll met him then.

In a place where the Sun meets the horizon.

Where the grass is always greener

and the dreamers always sleep.

Beyond belief is a place built big enough for two

built big enough for hope

built big enough for you.

an iny_tRo_ duction

an iny_tRo_ duction.