When my world came crashing down on me

When my world came crashing down on me-

When my world fell down about my knees

and shards of broken glass were everywhere to be seen

when all hope was lost and darkness fell

somebody reached out towards me in the midst of my mess

my living turmoil of troubles.

They reached their hand into the deep waters and dragged me

to shore. They saved a dying drowning girl who was tattered in ruins and

in love with the Storm.

When my world came crashing down on me-

When the cities were full of burning buildings

and smoke filled my lungs when there were no heroes in site

and nobody to be counted on

this lone man appeared to save me

just randomly

out of the blue

out of the internet

a complete and utter stranger

but somehow I just knew,

to trust him. And so I did and so it began.

a strange sort of friendship with a stranger from a far away land.

And now when I sleep

I only have dreams of really meeting him.

I have dreams of Starlight and of September.

I have dreams of long travels and hopeful

that I can only get my broken compass to work.

I hope that when I am searching my map its the same one he sees.

I hope if I were to dare to take a journey

he would find me.

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The gift

The gift

The gift arrived with little expectations.

it was unwrapped

an open box

it had contained Hope

but like with Pandora’s box the hope

escaped and travelled off with little fanfare.

When I peered inside the box this is when

the hope escaped-it covered my face, it cloaked my outfit, it drizzled me

into rainbows and unicorns.

The gift was unsigned. It was anonymous.

It was not even addressed to me yet i opened it anyways.

It was in a small sparkly white marbled box made

completely of cardboard.

it felt heavy like it weighed a ton this carrying case

of a loaded gun.

This box containing all of the hope required for the entire planet

yet here i had accidently stumbled upon it.

now what?

now what to do with all this foolish hope

laid upon my bare shoulders and entrusted

to me?

Simply believe, is what I find myself whispering to myself.

Simply believe in Hope.

because clearly Hope believes in

me.

And I think that is something scared.

I think that that is something meant to be.

beyond belief

beyond belief-

July 9, 2015

beyond belief

is where I’ve found him.

this sly imp with the devils grin.

the wide open shining blue laughing eyes,

that hypothesize- mesmerise.

they sparkle and shine

showing only a young soul

bearing the heart of one so much

more old.

beyond belief

is where he sleeps

among the places I’ve been dreaming of him.

inspiration found only among

a video web chat

with a clown.

beyond belief to find

a single grain of sand

of this happiness stuff.

It happened to me while I was lost

adrift upon a most troublesome sea.

when i felt i had no one to turn too

yet there he was texting me

comforting me

making me laugh

while my world had silently shattered

and my thoughts and feelings ran numb

chilled to the bone.

i was alone yet not alone

because this friend was there for me.

it was beyond belief.

A stroke of good fortune.

A shiny small scattering of

simple

hope.

A blessing among the ruins.

Beyond belief is where I’ll met him then.

In a place where the Sun meets the horizon.

Where the grass is always greener

and the dreamers always sleep.

Beyond belief is a place built big enough for two

built big enough for hope

built big enough for you.

an iny_tRo_ duction

an iny_tRo_ duction.

Grimoire-

Grimoire-

a leather bound book

laced together

of secrecy and such

the breath of a raven

the ghost of a feather

beneath a shadow who smells

of desire.

Grimoire-

a book of secrets

passed from one generation

to the next-

stepped in ones history

a landscape of

time not forgotten

words whispered quietly

among the chosen.

Sometimes secrets are better

left quietly whispered into

the darkness part of the night

under the fullest moon

shattering secrets

casting spells

in the pale yellow lime

moonlight.

Sick of running

Sick of running-

Emily H. Sturgill

May 4, 2015

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

im sick of running.

i am done with the rewind process.

i blink. i cry. i open my eyes.

suddenly stuck back on the rewind.

and its there again. im the misfit. i am only 18. i am running away again.

i run away from my parents home again and again repeatedly.

i run away from the man who loves me-

because of this fear-this phobia-the things i do not dare-to face myself.

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

I am so deeply sorry for my stubborn refusal/to face myself/in a mirror.

I am so sick of running away/deep down/somewhere/inside/i am scared/so i hide./terrified/

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

I am sick of running./i want to just stay home with you/i want to stay/always/near you./im scared/i will lose you./

I cannot promise/that this fear/won’t overcome me/again./but im attempting/to face my demons./to slay them./

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

Why not?

I don’t understand Why not?

Why not?

Why are you unwilling to give it a shot?

Why not try something new?

Why don’t you trust me?

Why do you not believe me?

Why do you just assume I am

entirely full of shit-about everything?

Why assume I do not know,

exactly what I am talking about?

It hurts me deeply,

when you do not trust me

completely.

I have never told you

any lies on purpose I mean…

Why not?

Why can’t you?

Why do you refuse to

just hold my hand

and try to

simply

just

believe?

Why not?

New Book Now Available as a Paperback on Amazon.com & Createspace.com

My new collection of fiction and short stories is called,”A Mandala that happened on the way to a car crash & other Stories.” by Emily H. Sturgill (2015)

This is the paperback link on Amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/Mandala-happened-crash-other-stories/dp/1511564822/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

This is the ebook off of kindle link HERE:

http://www.amazon.com/Mandala-happened-crash-other-stories-ebook/dp/B00VJJDKRG/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

This is the paperback on the Createspace Store:

https://tsw.createspace.com/title/5412358

Book Description:

 

List Price: $15.99
6″ x 9″ (15.24 x 22.86 cm)
Full Color on White paper
54 pages
ISBN-13: 978-1511564823 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1511564822
BISAC: Fiction / Short Stories

A short collection of Short Stories, poetry, and artwork. It is a chapbook of Modern surreal fiction this first of its kind by this Author, Artist and Poetess. Emily Sturgill has a BFA in Fine Arts Painting and a Masters of Education in Art Education and Art Therapy.She runs a blog on WordPress.com called,”Sex in the kitchen Sex.” Since 2013 this is her 21 Self-published work. Her other books are listed on her Amazon.com Authors page. Mostly known as artist and poet this is Emily’s first attempts at short stories. Tread lightly, as she is by no means an expert mostly just a novice with one toe dipped in the water as the streams bubbles past…

New Video! Poetry reading from “Dredging up Demeter: An Autumn Anthology.” Free on kindle

Both Anthologies are currently on FREE KINDLE DOWNLOAD:

http://www.amazon.com/Dredging-Demeter-Autumn-Anthology-Poetry-ebook/dp/B00RJFQNH8/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

http://www.amazon.com/Help-Wanted-please-Sturgill-Anthology-ebook/dp/B00L6O5P7C/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8