Birthday

Birthday 9/16/19

It’s your birthday
tomorrow
and I want
to make you smile.

Anything I can do
that makes you
happy even just for
a while.

Today 9/17/19

Today is your 46th
birthday
Just another year older
yet somehow wiser.
I’ve gotten you
some nic-nacks
small gifts and things.
But I cannot find
the right words
to express
that You are the one,
I will always love best.

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A connection

A connection- 9/16/19

To love someone
relentlessly
with a wild heart
takes much courage.

To love someone
recklessly,
with honesty
and grace
this is devotion.

To love someone
as the days
turn to months,
then to years
this is loyalty.

But to have that Love
love you back
equally through sorrow
and through joy

This is a blessing,
a treasure
something so powerful,
This is connection.

When my world came crashing down on me

When my world came crashing down on me-

When my world fell down about my knees

and shards of broken glass were everywhere to be seen

when all hope was lost and darkness fell

somebody reached out towards me in the midst of my mess

my living turmoil of troubles.

They reached their hand into the deep waters and dragged me

to shore. They saved a dying drowning girl who was tattered in ruins and

in love with the Storm.

When my world came crashing down on me-

When the cities were full of burning buildings

and smoke filled my lungs when there were no heroes in site

and nobody to be counted on

this lone man appeared to save me

just randomly

out of the blue

out of the internet

a complete and utter stranger

but somehow I just knew,

to trust him. And so I did and so it began.

a strange sort of friendship with a stranger from a far away land.

And now when I sleep

I only have dreams of really meeting him.

I have dreams of Starlight and of September.

I have dreams of long travels and hopeful

that I can only get my broken compass to work.

I hope that when I am searching my map its the same one he sees.

I hope if I were to dare to take a journey

he would find me.

The gift

The gift

The gift arrived with little expectations.

it was unwrapped

an open box

it had contained Hope

but like with Pandora’s box the hope

escaped and travelled off with little fanfare.

When I peered inside the box this is when

the hope escaped-it covered my face, it cloaked my outfit, it drizzled me

into rainbows and unicorns.

The gift was unsigned. It was anonymous.

It was not even addressed to me yet i opened it anyways.

It was in a small sparkly white marbled box made

completely of cardboard.

it felt heavy like it weighed a ton this carrying case

of a loaded gun.

This box containing all of the hope required for the entire planet

yet here i had accidently stumbled upon it.

now what?

now what to do with all this foolish hope

laid upon my bare shoulders and entrusted

to me?

Simply believe, is what I find myself whispering to myself.

Simply believe in Hope.

because clearly Hope believes in

me.

And I think that is something scared.

I think that that is something meant to be.

beyond belief

beyond belief-

July 9, 2015

beyond belief

is where I’ve found him.

this sly imp with the devils grin.

the wide open shining blue laughing eyes,

that hypothesize- mesmerise.

they sparkle and shine

showing only a young soul

bearing the heart of one so much

more old.

beyond belief

is where he sleeps

among the places I’ve been dreaming of him.

inspiration found only among

a video web chat

with a clown.

beyond belief to find

a single grain of sand

of this happiness stuff.

It happened to me while I was lost

adrift upon a most troublesome sea.

when i felt i had no one to turn too

yet there he was texting me

comforting me

making me laugh

while my world had silently shattered

and my thoughts and feelings ran numb

chilled to the bone.

i was alone yet not alone

because this friend was there for me.

it was beyond belief.

A stroke of good fortune.

A shiny small scattering of

simple

hope.

A blessing among the ruins.

Beyond belief is where I’ll met him then.

In a place where the Sun meets the horizon.

Where the grass is always greener

and the dreamers always sleep.

Beyond belief is a place built big enough for two

built big enough for hope

built big enough for you.

an iny_tRo_ duction

an iny_tRo_ duction.

Grimoire-

Grimoire-

a leather bound book

laced together

of secrecy and such

the breath of a raven

the ghost of a feather

beneath a shadow who smells

of desire.

Grimoire-

a book of secrets

passed from one generation

to the next-

stepped in ones history

a landscape of

time not forgotten

words whispered quietly

among the chosen.

Sometimes secrets are better

left quietly whispered into

the darkness part of the night

under the fullest moon

shattering secrets

casting spells

in the pale yellow lime

moonlight.

Sick of running

Sick of running-

Emily H. Sturgill

May 4, 2015

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

im sick of running.

i am done with the rewind process.

i blink. i cry. i open my eyes.

suddenly stuck back on the rewind.

and its there again. im the misfit. i am only 18. i am running away again.

i run away from my parents home again and again repeatedly.

i run away from the man who loves me-

because of this fear-this phobia-the things i do not dare-to face myself.

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

I am so deeply sorry for my stubborn refusal/to face myself/in a mirror.

I am so sick of running away/deep down/somewhere/inside/i am scared/so i hide./terrified/

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.

I am sick of running./i want to just stay home with you/i want to stay/always/near you./im scared/i will lose you./

I cannot promise/that this fear/won’t overcome me/again./but im attempting/to face my demons./to slay them./

So sick and tired of running-running away from my feelings/running away from my lover/running away from my best friend/

So sick of running away from this man who im in love with/Its been almost fifteen years now/cannot deny/the more i love/

the higher i fly.