Grimoire-

Grimoire-

a leather bound book

laced together

of secrecy and such

the breath of a raven

the ghost of a feather

beneath a shadow who smells

of desire.

Grimoire-

a book of secrets

passed from one generation

to the next-

stepped in ones history

a landscape of

time not forgotten

words whispered quietly

among the chosen.

Sometimes secrets are better

left quietly whispered into

the darkness part of the night

under the fullest moon

shattering secrets

casting spells

in the pale yellow lime

moonlight.

Advertisements

An altar of belief:

CAM00261

An altar by belief,
stands alone in the north west corner,
of my bedroom.
it is the place onto which,
i allow my beliefs to sit.

every once in a while,
i linger there
lighting three candles,
and say my prayers,
with my heart-
not my lips.

my lips do not seem fit.
to express what my heart
longs and shouts out for;
justice, a good life, an omen
or a sign, to allow
me to practice,

the fine art of allowance and
of course self-acceptance.

magical meditations, covered in mystery.
set the stage for most of human
history.

i have an altar of belief which sits,
upon my north-west corner.
Even if my Gods and Goddesses,
are ancient fairy tales to you…

please respect my beliefs,
as I try to respect yours.
if more folks do not try;
to sway and convert the masses,

think of all the less holy wars,
that would be raging
across many a foreign land.

all it takes is a small slit opening,
into your heart,
and some peace and understanding;
for those who see the world much
differently than you do.

blessings-tidings-mote it be,
hence tied by three.

To change it around, shake contents upside down.

To change it around,

please shake contents upside down.

And it comes to me,

that only I have the power to decide-

to make up my mind,

will today be a good day?

 

How can I make it so?

Can I let the bad thoughts go,

away in a puff of smoke?

Can I grab so tightly of that elusive

thing called Hope, before i begin to

choke all of her best intentions?

Can I choose, just for Today,

to focus on all the little things,

which make me smile and wonder in awe,

at the depth and the beauty even found

in a cloudy day?

 

Can you try along with me,

come along for the ride,

try to grab hold on the positive side…

 

Only you can change your own mind.

What will you decide, to focus on the

negativity or will you try to reach deeper-

way deep inside, to find that bliss,

which ignites your mind?

 

The law of attraction

The Law of Attraction,

never seems to sink in with me,

somehow.

Many family members swear by this.

And they are all financially much better off than I.

 

I want to believe, I really really do.

I just have a hard time taking

personal responsibility,

for every negative and awful

causality that has ever befallen me.

 

I have trouble believing that

I have a higher spiritual self  which

somehow decided to embrace mental illness,

welcome rape, miscarriages, and other crimes

upon myself so freely and willingly-

 

as if i have a please kick me sign,

attached to my rear end-

or a stupid “willing victim” sign

taped to my forehead.

That growing up, I always dreamt,

I would be unemployed and living below the poverty level.

 

I do believe very much in karma,

and that what you put out,

comes back three times.

 

I believe in many superstitions as well.

I avoid opening umbrellas indoors,

or walking beneath ladders.

I read Tarot cards but fear oujia boards.

I believe in ghosts, astral projection and re-incarnation.

 

Yet, still i struggle to accept the law of attraction.

Maybe, it’s quite paranoid of me.

But I cannot make sense, that each and every bad

experience i have ever had,

i invited and chose to have it.

i do not get this.

it confounds me greatly.

 

 

Music Lifts me up

Music Lifts me up,

when I am crashing downwards,

just hearing a favorite song or favorite singer-song-writer,

puts a smile on my heart,

and on  my face as well.

 

Music Lifts me up,

when times are tough.

Just the joy of listening

to a familiar and favorite tune-

is enough to help me-chase those blues away.

 

Music Lifts me up,

it is poetry for the soul.

It is something so sublime, shifting my

subconscious, into a nicer, softer place.

 

Sometimes, I like to sing along,

especially while i’m driving in my car,

or sitting in the car as my husband Deano Drives…

He likes the way I sing,

it is always a surprise that he approves of my singing.

He likes to sing along too.

 

Music Lifts me Up.

taking me places, i have never been before.

Carving out new memories,

like a long lost friend.

Music takes me everywhere,

 

I want to go, because

Music Lifts me up.

New Age-funk

I am trapped into,

a New Age Funk…

ever since I was only 15 years old.

I have the strangest sect of beliefs,

my thoughts on Religion is very polytheist-rather than atypical,

monotheism -despite being raised, “a good christian girl.”

Something inside me; melted and changed,

into beliefs of the ways of the old, the Ancients.

Superstitious views of three-folded ways,

Mysticism, Pagan, Wiccan, Zen-I get lost in theologies.

I married an Atheist.

Certain things seem so real to me,

yet others find them

so damn far out.

Karma, Reincarnation, Ghosts, Astral Projection,

Crystal Gazing, Candle Magick, Tarot Cards,

E.S.P. Strange dreams,de ja vu, other things which i care

not to even try to explain.

Sometimes, I just know stuff,

and some of its quite bizarre…

yet my intuition is composed entirely,

of mere hunches,

of things I somehow know or knew or thought i knew.

I’m trapped inside a New-Age Funk.

It’s not bad in here, just kinda surreal.

I’m almost 40 years old,

so at this point these beliefs are not going to alter,

or shift much.

Part of it is very comforting and reassuring.

But the other part, feels like I’m not living up to my

end of the bargin. There are gifts or talents I may or

may not even have, yet I refused to use them.

I let them sit on a dusty shelf,

right behind my outter-skin-layer

of “crazy”.Spirituality, acrylic and sand on canvasboard 1996

Sometimes…

Sometimes my past,

catches up with me and

it seduces me, with torrid tales, lies, and

misguided-mistaken-remembered-

confusion of;

distortion of faulty fact.

Sometimes, I walk heavy

with a 30 lbs baby dinosaur on my back.

Ancient times call for Ancient measures.

A ring of salt, forms a circle cast.

A temple prayer, a Buddhist chant, and the ringing

of a bell goes blink, blink,blink…into my mind’s eye.

There are places I’ve seen,

There are places I’ve been,

Encased, enclosed and Trapped -into a dream.

Sometimes, I ponder the what, why, when,how,where of things…

my memories are hazy,

my feet tremble slightly,

as I collapse, crumble and walk out

of your dream.

Religion makes me very uneasy…

Religion makes me very uneasy.

The one i believe in, versus the one you preach from.

Pulpit, and preacher, your Bible tells you what to do.

How nice and refreshing, that must be for you-even comforting.

I am glad you have found “your-way.” (cough,cough,cough)

Please do not force your opinion of God, down my throat,

my throats been kinda dry, i may just throw up or choke.

Pulpit, and preacher, your Bible tells you what to do.

How very nice for you…. but do not go out, trying to “Save my Soul.”

I was both baptized and confirmed very very very, long ago.

Under your golden rule-book that means “I’m saved.”

But do not make assumptions, about things, you do not understand.

My Religion is older than yours is. I worship a pantheon of Gods and Goddesses, how dare you to assume, that I am something, some call “Satanic”.

I do not even believe in Satan, or the Bible or God, as you misrepresent him.

If i mention one small iota about my religion, my Goddess, or Tarot Decks or an New Age belief, If I damn please

-then you are horribly offended.

That is the role in life you choose for you-not me-now,

do i get all hysterical and go off

on you because you mention you are “praying” for a friend.

Or making endless face-book quotes- on how much you love Jesus?

Do I ever try to tell you, that loving Jesus is a Sin??? No. No. No. Not at all.

I respect your beliefs, so please can you just,

re-consider accepting mine are different, from yours, and leave it at that.

The Great European Witch-hunts were over, many ages ago.

 

How about we do not bring them back?

Why am i so defensive?

Well, because you’ve got me under attack.

please keep your rosary to yourself, the same goes for your evangelical preaching.

If you wanna go throw a bible in my face, I’m going to simply say

, Jesus taught you to, “love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Religion makes me very uneasy;

in fact i feel a little queasy.