feeling awful
dreading tomorrow…
have another MRI;
scheduled for renal masses,
bilateral poly-cystic renal masses
PKD, various word-soup
that says all sorts of
invisible maladies
are fighting inside me.
And, later on in May-
I’m off to the Nephrologist’s office.
a 25 cent word meaning-
kidney specialist or kidney doctor…
This month,
my Endometriosis has also been killing me.
The pain is way too intense-
and my periods been,
so entirely,
fucked up; i am starting to wonder,
if the miracle happened,
and i got pregnant again?
So extremely, terrified of just
about everything at this point.
pregnancy or kidney disease or kidney cancer,
a roll of the dice,
my Fate will tell me
what is wrong.
My MRI is scheduled for tomorrow
night at 7:50 pm EST.
I’m feeling awful
about everything…as much as we want children,
I already have 2 miscarriages,
under my belt,
only been pregnant by the same man,
He’s my husband now,
but i do worry,
we have different RH factors.
people say its no big deal-yet it sounds
like one. Basically he has positive blood type,
mine is negative. 85% of the population does
have positive blood types. My concern
is if we do get pregnant again and our
baby has positive blood which is more common,
my body would attack the baby
and abort it.
They do have shots they can give the mother to prevent
that from happening.
Our different RH factors,
may have nothing to do with;
my previous miscarriages.
I’m just scared. I’m getting too old-almost 39-
really would not want to lose
another baby, not this time.
sexinthekitchensink 