Sadness among song lyrics

Sadness among song lyrics

as a song trapped in half

like a fluttering moth,

mumbles lyrics in my head-

just random snatches of song

now that i found you,

your the one who can

pull me through

deliver me,

deliver me…”

( a song by Sarah Brightman called Deliver Me.”

then I cannot recall the rest of the song

except for “deliver me, out of the? sadness? madness?”

The butterfly lies trapped and broken

in my head. It stops singing to me,

because it does not know the rest of the words.

so the butterfly twists turns and hums

stumbling backwards onto the chorus,

all over again, hmmm hmmm hmmm

Deliver me.” hmm hmm

the butterfly snaps shut its wings and mouth.

I sit here vaguely wondering,

what the hell

am I thinking about?

 

Black coffee, The Blues and I:

Black coffee, The Blues & I:

An essay by Emily H. Sturgill

So my husband and I were driving in our car the other day. We were listening to a mix of music I had burned off my computer onto a CD-R. At some point one of my various “favorite” blues songs came on. I wish I could tell you which one but I cannot, there’s way too many. Anyways, my husband looked at me and asked me with a semi-serious voice,”Did I marry an old black man?” I had to laugh and admit “yes.” I tried to explain my love of the Blues.

It’s kinda like why some people love Country music, except for me its The Blues. They may tell sad songs or tales of hardship or woe, but the music itself-it just makes me feel happy. It makes me feel like jumping and dancing. I don’t really know why. Most people who love The Blues like the very famous or classic singer-songwriters. But I’m different for some reason, my favorite is John Lee Hooker.

I really cannot explain it. My favorite song by far is,”Boom Boom Boom.”

Here is a you tube link:

To find out more about him check out these two links HERE:

http://www.johnleehooker.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Lee_Hooker

He is definitely a acquired taste. And I might have written about him before on here. This morning as I was drinking my black coffee and checking my email-I got a link from http://www.amazon.com on $5 blues albulms. Sure enough, they had one from him.

http://www.amazon.com/Urban-Blues-John-Lee-Hooker/dp/B000W198M8/ref=sr_1_2?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&qid=1412524026&sr=1-2

I had heard and actually had downloaded some of these songs before.But surprisingly, when I clicked to listen to the tracks, they sounded like different versions of the songs I already have. I might just buy this. I know my husband will let me because he knows I gotta a serious thing for Johnny lee hooker. It is interesting to me too, that he briefly lived in Detroit Mi and even sung some songs about it. Like “The motor city is burning.” is about the famous riots here back in the 1960s-well before I was born-but still, I feel some sort of strange kinship.

I don’t know. The Blues is not for everybody. But I thought I would share my love of the blues with you, as I finish my black coffee because my inner black guy, told me too!

Play me

Play me very carefully.

Play me like,

the broken fiddle I’ve become.

Use both hands to strum,

broken strings, into uneven chords.

A malady of a melody

that I have become.

Play me very carefully

like the hollowed drum.

Pound on my back,

until I thump and boom.

Be careful whatever way you play.

Play me like the electric guitar

smashed on a sound-stage in front

of screaming fans.

Play me like a broken fiddle,

tighten my strings

take me in for repairs,

I’ll be yours to play tomorrow,

I’ll be there good as new,

for forever and a day,

and a dream to come true.

Like a malady of a melody

that I have become.

Play me very carefully,

so I do not,

become undone.

Chill-laxing

Just chilling, with a favorite CD.

I have not decided,

if  I will be productive Today.

 

It’s a choice, like flipping a switch in my brain.

Do I really want to do something,

or just sit around here doing nothing,

feeling insane?

 

Music saves me…from some of,

this Madness.

I have been listening to various artists lately.

 

some of my favorites CDs right now:

ZZ Ward, “Till the casket drops.”

Ray Lamontagne, “Trouble”

Ray Lamontagne and the Pariah dogs,” God Willing & the creek don’t raise.”

Pink,”Funhouse.”

Muse, their newest one…

M.Ward, “transfiguration of Vincent.”

Florence and The Machine. Imagine Dragons. FUN. Goyte.

Mumford and Sons. The Black keys.

 

I just love music.

A good song creeps in under your bones.

It stays with you.

The lyrics randomly pop into head, at weird times.

 

Music is a powerful Drug.

It’s side effects are pretty harmless.

I know when I stop listening,

that’s when I start thinking.

About stuff I do not want to think about.

 

Music saves what is left of my sanity.

Music saves my soul.

Music takes me to far away places,

I long to go.

 

So go ahead,

pop in a favorite CD with me,

Let’s run away for the Day.

Let the Chill-laxing begin.

It’s a win-win.

Music Lifts me up

Music Lifts me up,

when I am crashing downwards,

just hearing a favorite song or favorite singer-song-writer,

puts a smile on my heart,

and on  my face as well.

 

Music Lifts me up,

when times are tough.

Just the joy of listening

to a familiar and favorite tune-

is enough to help me-chase those blues away.

 

Music Lifts me up,

it is poetry for the soul.

It is something so sublime, shifting my

subconscious, into a nicer, softer place.

 

Sometimes, I like to sing along,

especially while i’m driving in my car,

or sitting in the car as my husband Deano Drives…

He likes the way I sing,

it is always a surprise that he approves of my singing.

He likes to sing along too.

 

Music Lifts me Up.

taking me places, i have never been before.

Carving out new memories,

like a long lost friend.

Music takes me everywhere,

 

I want to go, because

Music Lifts me up.

Relaxing with music-all alone again….

Relaxing with music,

the Singer-songwriter M.Ward,

sings sweetly in my background.

My mother in law is at a doctors appointment.

My husband has left to go watch the latest

Superman movie-then he has a therapy appointment.

 

I’m all alone, at home again.

It’s peaceful. Despite a few stray teardrops,

which escape me.

 

Mood wise-slide sideways,

between sad and joy…

relief at being simply more of myself,

again.

 

More in control.

Heads still somewhat cloudy-

but feet are nailed safely/to the ground.

 

Every-time, I have another

manic-depressive episode,

it feels as though both my body and brain-

have betrayed me yet again.

 

 

They have turned me inside out/

into somebody insane…

just the name of this

illness game.

 

There is nothing I can really do

except my best,

to avoid these times/

of madness, at the slip of a dime.

 

I take my medicine as prescribed.

I never miss my doctor sessions.

I try to get enough sleep.

I try to not freak out.

 

Despite the hurdle of Everything/

I occasionally still/

completely lose my mind.

 

It always feels as though-

I have betrayed myself somehow…

My episodes the last two years, strictly on my meds,

have been smaller & shorter,

no real damage has been done.

 

I should feel happy,

as if I’ve won.

But instead I am sadden by the way,

I become undone.

Like a sweater with one button popping loose,

as if by random chance.

 

I know of others with my disease,

have fewer times of the in-between.

Fewer times of the semi-normalcy, stable state.

 

I know I am blessed and lucky.

At least my medicines control

my CRAZY, from time to time…

 

Nobody’s perfect all the time.

We all have our flaws.

It just sucks that history tends to;

repeat itself in my general direction.

I am caught in the constant cobweb

of being CRAZY.

 

I run away from home TIME AND TIME AGAIN…

Just like the first time, way back in the summer,

of 1992.

I’m a song stuck on repeat.

A dance number without  a beat.

Filled with sadness & joy, all at once,

a walking contradiction

allowing & swallowing the impossible

courage & fear of being

plain old ME.IMG_20130330_093314 IMG_20130330_093436 Self-portrait photo may 2013Falling to pieces by EHCato 1999Picture 113 copy

 

travel ticket

Oh, the places, I will go,

just with a cup of hot, darken, black coffee,

and a single scratched up CD.

The music invokes memories.

Nothing specific, yet allows my mind the freedom-

to travel freely floating by,

on a chorus or a verse…

Time, is one thing I have plenty.

If my CD skips a beat, I just wait it out, nothing is sweating me.

The southern twang to a voice, a bluesy pitch, a melody-

something like a story-

somebody’s singing crazy, good tunes, and I love

the honesty that lies in the land,

of The Blues.

A single song on repeat,

could transport me-anywhere-a story

or a fantasy or even a dream?

Pour yourself a cup of caffeine, grab a chair, and

put some music on-

come travel with me,

tickets to unknown destinations-

all paid for-

for free.

get yours before they are gone!!! only 6 hours left to download.

possible coverart1 copy

The free promotional period on my most recent poetry and artwork chapbook expires tonight at 11:59 pm. It is still not too late if you have not downloaded your free kindle copy.

just go to my Authors page at amazon.com. It is http://www.amazon.com/author/emilysturgill then click on kindle books, “once, i was the rain: poetry and artwork” is the first one listed. Normally the kindle version is $6.99 and the paperback version is either 10.99 or 11.99$-i cannot recal at the moment BUT getting it for FREE. Sounds like a good deal to me!

if you download it and dislike it later you can always just delete it from your kindle library.

******Note: if you do not own a kindle, tablet or e-reader, Amazon offers a free kindle app-that workswith most PC’s-(personal computers.)

Just go to http://www.google.com, and type in this exact phrase,”free kindle app for the PC” that should bring up a direct link to download a kindle app for your personal home computer. It’s safe to download but double-check you are on Amazon’s website for this app.

Never get out of these blues…

Never get out of these blues-4/12/14
by Emily Sturgill

Listening to John Lee Hooker, singing that, he’ll,
“never get out of these blues alive.” and I am jamming to old music on my MP3 player.

Wishing to become,
somebody easier-
less undone.

Wishing to capture
My Muse,
who mystifies me.

Wishing to capture,
yet another
poem-song into my teeth.

Trying to take a bite,
out of a word
that sounds right.

But they glide on,
right by me,
the words;
do not stay or settle.

they frenzy-fight
skirmming off the margins
skipping off the pages.

Dancing as I struggle,
with writers block-
words they tease me,
and then they flee.

Free to leave me
empty. Never get out of these blues-Alive.

titanium gown

a gown of titanium,
in vertigo
he burned down
the house of
his soul.

chilling news,
frigid weather.

a climax in the middle
of heat stroke and a
Arsonist’s mad, delusionary, journey;
Unbearable.

He was drunk;
on dandelion wine
and bitterness.

she wore a gown,
of titanium, copper, and
a scarf of woven Ivy.
with the tree-branches,
dancing
in

the
rivers of ringlets,
of her darkest hair.

He never saw her-standing there.

Mother Natures Wrath;
Forest Fires,
Nightmares, and a
Drunken fat arsonist’s
Dirty Wet-Dream.