people come, and people go…

Sometimes for

unfathomable reasons i do not fully claim to understand,

people come into your life

serving some unknown undesired unfulfilled

purpose

leaving faint sandpaper scratch marks

upon your heart

just as a pencil leaves a mark

upon an empty page.

these mysterious people for some unknown

reason they reach out and touch

your very soul & shake its roots

down to the core

and then???

who knows?

they disappear just as fast

as breaking glass

its like an accident

fracturing into fragments

which tumble into remnants

of a long forgotten

past.

people come, and people go…

I do not seem to understand the reasons why.

but I am frequently rejected, confused, shattered

in pieces wondering the why?

what did i do?

to drive them away?

what did i say?

What did i do?

to lose a friend

as true as you?

obviously

you never felt the same way.

obviously it was my fault

to think you would feel

the same way

as I

that you would want

to maintain our friendship?

instead you walked away-

or quite possibly-?

more like RAN away AS fast as you can.

I wasn’t sure how I hurt you.

you acted like i never mattered to you

in the first place.

but people come,

and people go…

it’s not for me

to even know-the why, the who the where the how?

just this fact-

that people come

and people go.

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13 thoughts on “people come, and people go…

  1. I think if we take the time and really study the lost relationship, we will find a lesson there… I know I have with many of my passing relationships… great poem!

    • This poem was written about a person i deeply loved but we were never really romantically involved. Just very close friends. in a platonic sense i mean? I have a very serious and long lasting romantic commitment-its with somebody else though. My husband & my old friend have never even ever met. My friend moved out of states almost directly after graduation from high school. I have tried to maintain a sort of friendship with him-but its tough. He knew me quite a while prior to my diagnosis of serious mental illness-bipolar disorder. This friend has mostly heard from me during times of mania or intense crisis. He doesn’t believe I really even have a mental illness. I can’t hold that against him-he is not here. Has not been here for many years. He never sees me when i am well. There is a huge difference.Anyways, I am sad for the friendship i lost with him.

      • I am so sorry for your pain and loss… it is hard for some to understand mental illness. Many would rather deny it and walk away. Cherish those close to you who have remained through it all… it is his loss that he isn’t still in your life.

      • (smiles) maybe some day this person will come around and learn the well you… as long as there is life, there is always hope 🙂

      • Thank you. I certainly can hope so. I’m really not angry at his misunderstanding. I understand his point of view that the sick version of me is the only side i have allowed him to see. This causes confusion for others as well. He is not alone in being upset angry and confused with me.

      • It is also part of Bipolar… to try to hide parts of ourselves to protect our self… something those with no mental disorders can ever understand

      • Its funny but if i get sick enough, i usually run away from everybody who knows the real me. I surround myself with acquaintances who do not realize how bonkers i am at the moment.

      • That’s understandable… I usually isolate myself completely from everyone.. but we all handle our sickness differently

      • I do do that too, but i also get sentimental and try to reconnect with old friends. Hence my issues with this friend here. I would only reach out to him when i was completely crazy so he thought i was just the way constantly.

  2. At some point way back when long before i met my hubby, I most likely did have more romantic feeling for this person. But he made it clear he did not feel like that towards me and I moved on. So did he. My hubby is really a wonderful man and i love him a great deal. He and I went on our very first date 15 yrs ago this May 18th.We did not wish to rush stuff so we did not get married until almost 4 yrs ago.We spent 11 ys living together to see if we fit? I’m joking about the last part. We lived together but did not marry because I am on SSDI for my bipolar. We were scared if we wed I would lose my benefits, and medical ect.But we are married now! Practically newlyweds!! We dated longer than most marriages sometimes last so its strange but in a very cool way.Overall,I have a very good and happy life. My hubby makes me very happy. But despite this I do still miss my friend. It’s idiotic I suppose. But he really meant something to me in a way no other person can fill.It has nothing to do with my hubby-because I am very happy with him. It’s most likely selfish on my part to miss a friendship that cost this person pain or grief. Its also selfish to still want my friend back despite being a married woman!! But I do not have any attentions towards this individual besides platonic friendship!
    My hubby has nothing to worry about. And this other guy? He does not have to be friends anymore. Basically he cut me right out of his life with the skills of a surgeon-almost two years ago.

    • It doesn’t seem that this friendship you are writing about really developed into anything lasting, I thought he seemed so devoid of compassion, and it was surprising you ever got to know him beyond a superficial level in the first place. It is hard to comprehend people who can simply “erase” their friends (and family members) from their lives, it happens though. One of these days, you may hear from him again, who knows? Its hard to forget about friends that meant so much. Sorry. Thinking of you:)

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