the losing battle

the losing battle

before winning the war,

the War rages on, forever and a day-

have i always felt this way?

the losing battle,

my mind cracks into half,

like an egg-shell,

the whites of my eyes pour out,

into a flood of never weeping tears.

the losing battle,

will i win the war?

I am so sick &tired of us-

fighting all the time-

we only fight when i get “sick”-

whenever I am not myself, and having

another “episode”

these pretty words beneath the encased glass

of quotation marks-keeping them shiny and brand new-

as the day i wish i never first heard them,

in the first goddamn place.

They are just pretty flourish, whipped cream on top,

decorative descriptions to explain,

i am clearly going crazy again.

the losing battle,

always the same, so sick & tired of losing

this fight.

it’s hard to explain,

but when you say i am crazy,

that’s about the same-time

as when i feel most alive.

When i feel the tiniest speck of happiness,

wetting down the back of my neck.

the losing battle,

as the war wages onwards-

i only take the damned pills to-

shut everyone up!

no i do not hear voices-

these are real life persons. who nag beyond

comprehension.

I am losing both the battle and the war.

Thats the only thing,

which stands out,

crystal clear.

 

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