feeling evil, feeling disappointed, feeling like…
somebody just told me I’d won the lottery.
Only to take it all back away from me.
Feeling as if, God is laughing at me.
Feeling like I am nothing more-
nor nothing less than somebody’s idea
of a cruel hoax, a butt of jokes, someone who
dances with clowns, and paints her lips red.
i feel like destiny is laughing at me.
That things will never go my way.
But I don’t know why…
I always try.
Perhaps, too hard, as I have been told before,
to just let things unfold.
To trust in the process.
To give in to my subconsciousness
Why Oh Why can’t I get a job?
Why is this just not materializing?
all the meditation and manifestations in the world,
refuse to work.
I’m on the brink of madness,
like the edge of a deep dark ravine.
I try to form words, i try to scream, but its too late.
Nothing makes a sound,
my feet do not miss a beat,
they never hit the ground.
Feeling wicked, feeling Evil.