The Law of Attraction,
never seems to sink in with me,
Many family members swear by this.
And they are all financially much better off than I.
I want to believe, I really really do.
I just have a hard time taking
for every negative and awful
causality that has ever befallen me.
I have trouble believing that
I have a higher spiritual self which
somehow decided to embrace mental illness,
welcome rape, miscarriages, and other crimes
upon myself so freely and willingly-
as if i have a please kick me sign,
attached to my rear end-
or a stupid “willing victim” sign
taped to my forehead.
That growing up, I always dreamt,
I would be unemployed and living below the poverty level.
I do believe very much in karma,
and that what you put out,
comes back three times.
I believe in many superstitions as well.
I avoid opening umbrellas indoors,
or walking beneath ladders.
I read Tarot cards but fear oujia boards.
I believe in ghosts, astral projection and re-incarnation.
Yet, still i struggle to accept the law of attraction.
Maybe, it’s quite paranoid of me.
But I cannot make sense, that each and every bad
experience i have ever had,
i invited and chose to have it.
i do not get this.
it confounds me greatly.