Searching secrets

Searching among a sea of Secrets.

Looking for answers buried deep

inside my core

So much slips by

my subconscious eye.

 

Somedays I do not know

where I begin and where my illness,

fits in.

Stability is the ultimate goal.

To mend what is broken

To become whole.

 

Yet the parts I try

to deny linger and remain

a constant refrain in the chorus

which settles for

background music of a sort,

the melody of manic-depression.

 

So much regression, so much tug & back

then forth-some days I have clarity

and others I wish I did not.

The stuff I block out

The mysteries of that which makes me-

me.

 

Knowingly, I must struggle

to accept all the parts of my self

even the sick bits and pieces-

until I am able to embrace it all

to stake a claim-

there remains

a subdivision between this mood

or the next.

 

Trying my best, not only

to recover but to re-discover

the parts I try best to never see.

The big, the bad, the ugly

even the beautiful

of me.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s