Frustration mounts…and eats my soul away.
Devouring me from the inside out.
I will never be able to be normal,
and I don’t know what that’s all about….
I’m just another random head-case,
trapped beneath a system of doubt.
a broken down merry-go-wheel ride,
of social security benefits and random poverty.
I would love if just one of my nameless,
faceless republican family or friends,
would attempt to live high on the horse,
with my government income of barely $6,000.00 per year.
They make such a big deal out of,
that fact that i should be “grateful” for benefits…
Grateful, for what for being even more poor, than everybody else?
I make way less than min. wage
I should have never gone to college anyway.
Or the University, what a joke!
My older sister skipped all the academics,
worked very hard on her way to the top, too.
But she did not play a fool,
as I tend to do.
I wasted 19 years of my life in college or at the university.
I cannot help but be bitter by it.
Now what i owe in student loans, could buy a fancy house,
which i will never afford.
I do not even qualify to get hired at a min. wage job.
My mind today is set on meltdown.
So much frustration,
Ever hear of the so-called – law of attraction?
According to this ever popular theory,
I choose a mental illness
to become my entire life-story.
I choose a life with poverty, crime, being a victim of
both a few violent muggings and a couple of rapes.
Somehow, this was all decided by me.
I say bullshit to that.
I am not flowery or happy today.
Today I am just me, brittle, bruised and feeling