It’s offical: Today really sucked….:(

I spent at least 2 hrs today bickring and fighting with my husband. We very rarely argue, perhaps not the best thing to rarely argue-hostilities do seem to build up-then boom!!!

He accused me of being bitchy today-no argument there-i knew i had been and was-still kind of am-in a wicked evil mood. I’m not sure if its pms or something else…i took all my meds as prescribed. I was just really angry today. That is very rare.

After we made up- he asked if we could pretend today never happened? it was a sweet thought but i had to say no. I tried to explain that there are real issues despite if we discuss or fight about them or not.

even unspoken, the issues are still there….a lot of family drama issues.

I wish that we lived on our own and did not have to take care of his mom. She is not always that pleasant to live with-yet i have been living here wit her for 13 years. I knew 2 years ago when we tied the knot, i knew what i was in for. I did not expect it to change really, but i wish it would…

Sometimes, i resent it. I am the one home alone with her most of the days.
I’m the one to deal with all her dramas and ailments and stressors…

I’m a mentally ill person my own self, sometimes it is really tough helping somebody else-who does not even want help much of the time.

I’m not sure hubby realizes how stressful this is on my bipolar disorder recovery process. I tried to talk to him….to explain and there it was again-the ever hostile defensive mamas boy additude.

I would never ask him to choose between us. That would be very wrong in my opinion. But sometimes,I wish she lived in her own apartment. Sometimes, i wish it were just me and him. I feel awful but i do not always feel like i can handle all her challenges.

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