Rituals

Rituals to settle me.
Rituals to calm me, when i find distress.
I’m obsessively listen to the same M.Ward CD
all afternoon and all night long.

I know the true reason.
I’m just feeling stress.
But listening to the same CD
over and over on repeat-

it’s like a treat.
I barely notice the music, or lyrics
anymore, i use some crazy-ass form
of hypnosis on myself.

If i play the music that makes
me feel happy-over and over again-
like a wish will the happy come true?

will the sounds soothe my frazzled
burned out shell
of a mind?
does it help that it rhymes?

I think so.
i just wanna make the bad mood-
go-dissipate-disappear-evaporate?
my nerves are fried.
almost as bad as my brain.

So i listen and listen again.
All songs are on repeat,
as i try to clear my
cluttered mind

of all the endless useless
thought grime.

Sing a song,
dance to music,
be happy…
now if only?

If only i could block it all out?
Just want to start today over again,
longing to undue, the bad mood
I’ve been in, feeling blue.

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